In 6 weeks our lives will change forever, ok they already
kind of have but they will really change then.
On February 15th 2012, I went to the Dr. and
discovered it was not the flu side lining me for a week. It was the 9 month flu. Sure not a big deal for some, maybe not for
many. But for us it was and still
is. I have been told for all my adult
life I had less than a 1% chance of ever having kids. I adjusted to that early on, Dan knew this 10
years ago when we met. (I had learned to disclose this information early on in
relationships to save myself the heartache).
We had always said (usually in late night tipsy “deep” conversations)
that if it ever happened we would deal with it and be happy and we wouldn’t’ go
out of our way to not get pregnant yet not take any steps to get pregnant. But neither of us ever thought it would
happen. You know the saying “If it is
meant to be it will be”, yeah we assigned it to this and never examined it
further.
Dan, my wonderful, wonderful Dan, took the news in
stride. Consoled his crying girlfriend
of 10 years told me it would be okay, looked stunned, and I sat there crying
and nervous smiling while I watched so many emotions and thoughts go over his
face. He then had to leave for an errand
and I decided there was no way I could go to class, I mean who can concentrate
on Physics when biology is throwing you for a loop. When he returned, he had my engagement ring
with him. The man had already lined up
proposing to me and still wanted to go through with that even with my
news. Amazing how in the time span of
seriously 6 hours total your life changes.
So here we are, almost the end of August, 6 weeks to our
estimated due date and excited as all heck! I have a huge belly, with stretch
marks I love to look at and touch, I still jump at the feeling of her moving inside
me and still wake up some days shocked this is not a dream.
Dan and I have often wondered why in our ups and downs we
always found our way back, why life threw us the pain and curve balls it did, why
our hearts were broken by others to the point we thought we would forever be
alone. We now know it was to prepare us
for each other. Neither of us are
perfect, and nothing worth having is easy so we have our ups and down (who
doesn’t). But we have a love between
each other that has survived the healing and growing that has happened in 10
years. And on top of getting to be with
the man that takes me for who I am each day even at my worst we get to share
our love with a beautiful baby girl!
So many thoughts run through my head daily. What will she look like?
Will she have red
hair? Will her hair curl like his when it starts to grow out? Will she
love to laugh as much as we do? Will she play soccer (please oh please
say
yes). Can I do this??? The only answer I know for sure is that yes I
can do this. Come hell or high water
this little girl will grow up loved and protected.
