Selasa, 03 September 2013

Our Miracle

On September 28th our little miracle was born.
Elektra Jean came into this world at a healthy 7 lbs 13.5 ounces and 21 inches long.  

*WARNING: this will be a bit of rambling cause that is how my mind is working now days*

She didn't come in the "normal" way, of course not, I am her momma.  Instead she was born via C-section.  The how and why will be a post for another day.  When I think of that moment they told me I still cry and this is a post of happiness not fears.

Dan was amazing the whole time.  Holding my hand when I couldn't sleep the night before, holding it as the contractions hit big time from the pitocin, telling me to stop trying to be superwoman and take the newbane and then the epidural. Staying with our baby while I was sewn up and then delivering her to me with a huge proud smile on his face.  He continues to tell me how proud he is of me everyday and if it is or was possible he almost seems to love me more (I don't think it is possible though ;) )

The moment I got to hold her everything was worth it, the pain of the epidural, the anxiety of the surgery, the contractions i tried to tough it through without meds.  What they say is true, you don't forget the pain you just don't care about it anymore.

One of the biggest shocks to me was the breast feeding.  I had already chosen to breast feed because of the health benefits but I was unsure if I would actually want to do it.  The first time I tried it my worries were gone.  I wanted to do this, I had to do this.

We had our struggles, as most do but I was bound and determined to do it.  I had one tearful breakdown in the hospital but we finally got her to feed with the help of a nipple shield.  We still need the nipple shield and I have to hand pump some to be sure I don't lose any supply but it is worth it.  Anything to give my baby girl what she needs.  The feeling/connection I get from breast feeding is more than I expected. I am unsure how to exactly describe it but I feel so motherly, so useful, so calm when I am feeding her.

There is so much love in this little apartment right now that it would fill up the grandest mansion out there.  I still look at her in awe that she is mine, that something so perfect, cute, beautiful and tiny came out of me.
 We actually did it.  
I am now one of those moms that post pics of her on FB doing nothing more than laying there but sorry friends you will deal with it or delete me or ignore me :) I refuse to stop sharing the little things she does that makes me melt over and over again.

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